


i get off this way (when i'm in love)

by lostresidentevilpotter



Category: The Wilds (TV 2020)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-12 12:06:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28885080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostresidentevilpotter/pseuds/lostresidentevilpotter
Summary: And maybe Fatin is the absolute worst person to do this. Or maybe she’s exactly the right person. Maybe this will simply shock the hell out of Leah – shock her enough to get her to calm the fuck down. Or maybe this is ultimately just going to fuck Leah up even worse, but Fatin has to at least try before they give Leah a drug that’ll knock her out for the remainder of the day and probably most of tomorrow.Or, an alternate version of 1x09 where Fatin finds another way to calm Leah down instead of drugging her after she's dragged out of the ocean.
Relationships: Dot Campbell & Fatin Jadmani, Fatin Jadmani/Leah Rilke
Comments: 41
Kudos: 322





	i get off this way (when i'm in love)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really just cranking out the Leatin fics, huh? No regrets. 
> 
> I didn't mark any warnings, but there is some mention of suicidal thoughts. Always feel free to message me at blinkaftermidnight on tumblr for any specifics.
> 
> Title is from Tremors by Angels & Airwaves

Fatin’s idea is either her best or worst one yet. Dot is on the verge of drugging Leah, which is fair, given the whole _trying to escape via ocean_ thing, and frankly, Fatin doesn’t know what else to do. Leah’s in her arms, spluttering something about _going back_ , and Dot is, well, she’s not yelling, but her voice is definitely raised, and she’s ordering Fatin to _drug her already_ _before she throws herself back into the ocean_. And Fatin knows they have witnesses – Dot, Rachel, and Nora – but the idea hits her and she can’t not try it.

And maybe Fatin is the absolute worst person to do this. Or maybe she’s exactly the right person. Maybe this will simply shock the hell out of Leah – shock her enough to get her to calm the fuck down. Or maybe this is ultimately just going to fuck Leah up even worse, but Fatin has to at least try before they give Leah a drug that’ll knock her out for the remainder of the day and probably most of tomorrow.

So Fatin kisses Leah. It’s nothing special – certainly it’s not a fair representation of Fatin’s ability to kiss under normal circumstances. But nothing about this is normal, and Fatin’s at a strange angle while simultaneously attempting to keep Leah from hitting the sand. If Leah isn’t fighting to get free, then she’s basically dead weight, at least until Fatin’s lips press against hers, and then Leah goes still. Leah’s fingers manage to grasp onto Fatin’s shirt with surprising strength. How Leah has any energy left at all is beyond Fatin’s comprehension. Girl nearly drowned, and they’re all on the brink of total starvation.

But all in all, as it’s happening, Fatin determines it’s not a bad kiss. Because that’s what’s important right now, right? It’s pretty salty, given the fact that Leah’s sort of still drenched with saltwater, but that’s kind of a pleasant touch. Fatin keeps their lips pressed together until Leah makes a muffled sound against her lips, and only then does Fatin shifts back just enough to give Leah a chance to inhale. Their noses still touch, and when Fatin opens her eyes, Leah’s are closed. Fatin smiles to herself, because shit, that actually worked. At least, Fatin thinks it worked. Leah’s calmer, not trying to jump to her feet to run back into the ocean. Her breathing’s still a bit erratic, but that should be expected since she was just kissed by Fatin Jadmani –

And that was a little conceited of Fatin, she will admit. Fatin shifts her face back a little more to give Leah the opportunity to recover. Fatin’s eyes dart to the side just in time to catch the way Dot’s jaw hangs open.

“Might want to pick your jaw up, honey,” Fatin calls. “Don’t want to catch any bugs, you know?”

“Why has this island made everyone gay?” Dot mutters, loud enough for Fatin and Leah to hear, though Nora and Rachel are out of earshot and possibly didn’t even witness Fatin’s successful attempt to bring Leah back to reality. Fatin busts out laughing. Dot had sworn not to say anything when Fatin told Dot her theory about Shelby and Toni, and technically, Dot hasn’t given anything specific away.

“Everyone?” Fatin teases. “Dorothy, do you have something to confess?”

Dot snickers, and maybe if Leah wasn’t still on the verge of losing every shred of sanity she has left, Dot might’ve thrown a handful of wet sand at Fatin. Fatin’s eyes finally return to Leah’s face, and Leah’s staring, like, straight into Fatin’s soul or something. But Leah also looks more confused than ever, blue eyes shifting between Dot and Fatin’s faces as she pants, still unable to catch her breath.

“Welcome back,” Fatin murmurs.

“Fatin,” Leah breathes.

“Mm-hmm,” Fatin hums. She brushes back the locks of hair plastered to Leah’s face, manages to give Leah the softest smile possibly ever. “I’m right here.”

“I’m so –”

Fatin shushes her gently. “It’s alright,” Fatin lies. “You’re okay now. Just try to calm down, okay? Try to breathe slower.”

“I can’t –”

“You can,” Fatin says firmly. She fumbles to grab Leah’s hand, holds it tight. “We’re going to get through this,” Fatin insists, even though she’s not sure she believes it herself. If Toni, Shelby, and Martha fail to find any sort of food, they’re all going to starve, and thanks to Leah’s little freak out that led to a trip into the ocean for both her and Rachel, they’re all running pretty low on energy, and that would be the case even if they actually had food.

“Okay, we need to move her away from the water,” Dot decides. She glances over her shoulder at Rachel and Nora, still seated in the sand, clinging to each other as Rachel struggles to catch her breath. “And then we all need to lie down and fucking do nothing until the others get back. Hopefully with something to eat.”

Hope is getting harder and harder to find, as if Leah’s sprint into the ocean didn’t perfectly demonstrate that. But Fatin finds herself nodding in agreement. No matter what happens, Dot always seems to have her head screwed on straight.

“Are you two okay?” Dot asks, turning her attention to Rachel and Nora.

“As okay as we can be, I think,” Nora answers.

“If I have to fucking –” Rachel starts, but she stops in order to suck in a few breaths of air before continuing, “If I have to fucking save your ass one more time, Rilke, I swear to _God_ , I’m gonna kill you myself.”

“Well, Rachel’s okay,” Fatin says. “Dorothy, please be a doll and give me a hand with Leah.”

Dot nods and gets one of Leah’s arms around her neck. Fatin does the same, and even though they’re both running on fumes, they manage to drag Leah back to their camp. They lay her down by the fire in hopes that’ll help her dry off quicker.

“I’m gonna go help Nora with Rachel,” Dot says. Her eyes flick toward Leah then lock with Fatin’s eyes. “Don’t let her out of your sight,” Dot warns.

Fatin manages a smile, gives Dot a goofy salute, then says, “Aye, aye captain.”

It’s only when Dot walks away, leaving Fatin seated in the sand beside Leah and the fire, that Fatin realizes how hard her heart’s pounding in her chest. In fact, she sort of feels a little sick, and it’s not the starvation. Maybe it’s only just sinking in how close Leah was to death, how easily she could’ve drowned out in the middle of the ocean. And if Rachel hadn’t spotted her and dove in…

Fatin’s eyes drop down to Leah’s face. She’s still taking rapid, shallow breaths, staring straight up at the sky. Fatin knocks the back of her hand against Leah’s thigh, just to get her attention. When Leah’s eyes shift away from the sky and land on Fatin’s face, Fatin says, “Never do anything like that again.”

Leah nods as much as possible. “Yeah, that maybe wasn’t my greatest idea ever,” Leah rasps.

“Yeah, no shit.” Fatin sighs, pulls her knees to her chest, and tries to dial down the anger. “Just – don’t do it again. Scared the shit out of me, Rilke.”

“Sorry.”

There’s a long stretch of silence while Leah slowly begins to breathe in a manner that’s closer to normal and Fatin tries to get her heart to slow the fuck down. But every time Fatin thinks back, every time her mind replays the images of Leah rushing into the ocean, of Leah’s desperate attempt to get herself off this island, the fear rises in her chest again, and her heart beats faster again.

“We’re going to die out here,” Leah says, and she says it with such certainty that Fatin startles and immediately looks over to Leah. But then when their eyes lock, Leah falters and asks, “Aren’t we?”

Fatin’s lips part, but her brain hasn’t told her what to say yet. So she sits there for a few moments, eyes locked with Leah’s, before she whispers, “Honestly? I’m not sure.”

Leah nods, lets her eyes close. Dot finally returns with Rachel and Nora, and Rachel collapses next to Fatin, in front of the fire.

“Thank you,” Fatin finally says. “You know. For doing that.”

Rachel stares at Fatin for a long while before she grunts, “You’re just lucky I fucking saw her out there.”

“And we’re lucky you actually got to her in time,” Dot adds. She drops down in front of the fire directly across from Fatin, crosses her legs. “I’d propose a toast to Rachel and her heroics, but sadly, we have nothing to toast with except water that still needs to be boiled before we can drink it.”

“Thanks for the reminder,” Rachel snaps. She lowers her back to the sand, mimicking Leah’s position. Rachel mutters, “Let’s just hope I didn’t save her for nothing, right?”

*

In hindsight, Fatin should’ve saw it coming. Their whole conversation earlier in the day – Fatin knew things were bad for Leah. She should’ve known not to let Leah out of her sight.

“You can’t blame yourself.”

“Jesus!” Fatin hisses, already scrambling to sit up. She squints through the semi-darkness over at where Dot’s sitting, prodding at the dying fire with a stick. “How did you know I was up?” Fatin asks.

Dot shrugs. “You sleep like you’re dead,” she points out. “You were moving around too much to be asleep.”

Fatin crawls over to join Dot next to the fire, since it’s clear she’s not about to fall asleep anytime soon. The whole dynamic is off without Toni, Shelby, and Martha, and the whole starving thing doesn’t exactly facilitate a peaceful slumber.

“Are you a mind reader?” Fatin asks abruptly. “How did you know what I was thinking about?”

“It’s what we’re all thinking about, isn’t it?” Dot says. “Or, one of two things: the hunger or Leah finally, _truly_ snapping. And neither of those things are your fault.”

Fatin shakes her head. “I saw the warning signs,” she says. “I knew it was bad. She told me as much.”

“You couldn’t have guessed she’d run into the fucking ocean to try to escape.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Fatin mutters. “I should’ve been watching her.”

“We all should’ve been watching her,” Dot corrects. “That’s not just on you.”

“Yeah, but –”

“But what?” Dot asks patiently. She jabs at the fire again as Fatin gathers her thoughts.

“But I knew,” Fatin says. “I should’ve done something sooner.”

“Fatin, Leah needs, like, real help,” Dot says. She grasps onto Fatin’s shoulder, squeezes it briefly. “You are many things, but you are not a trained mental health professional.”

Fatin rolls her eyes, can’t help but to smile a little. Dot always seems to know exactly what to say to draw a smile out of her. “Well, until we can get Leah some actual help, it’s on me to make sure she at least makes it off this goddamn island alive.”

“Us,” Dot corrects. “It’s on us. We have to look after each other.”

Fatin exhales heavily, shaking her head. “It’s different. We’re from, like, the same school.”

“Shelby and I are from the same school,” Dot reminds. “You don’t see me tracking her every move.”

“Shelby is – it’s not the same. Besides, she’s got Toni and Martha to watch her. Leah? Leah only has me.”

“It’s more my fault than yours,” Dot sighs. Her eyes stay trained on the fire, even though it’s not in danger of dying out anymore. “I had my hands on her. I should’ve held on, tackled her. Something other than letting her run into the water.”

“None of us have extra energy to expend,” Fatin says. “If I can’t blame myself for not preventing this, you definitely can’t blame yourself for not being able to physically stop Leah.”

“Fair,” Dot agrees. There’s a slight pause before she clears her throat and says, “You know, it was actually pretty brilliant, what you did.”

“Well, I _am_ known for my brilliance,” Fatin jokes, nudging Dot’s knee with her own. “But what exactly are you talking about?”

Dot motions toward where Leah’s sprawled out on her back, sleeping with her jaw hanging open. She passed out first, shortly followed by Rachel, understandably, and they’ve both been out since. Nora fell asleep sometime within the last hour or so, and there’s been no sign that Martha, Toni, or Shelby are going to return anytime soon from their hunting expedition.

“Kissing her,” Dot says. “At first I thought you’d finally lost it, too, but it actually fucking worked.”

“Yeah, well, I figured it was worth a shot,” Fatin says, swallowing hard. “Who knows? We might need those pills for something else later.”

“That’s what you were worried about?” Dot snorts. “Our supply of pills?”

“I was worried that drugging Leah against her will would make everything worse,” Fatin replies. “I thought maybe if I shocked the hell out of her, it’d bring her back down to Earth.”

“Fucking brilliant,” Dot says. “I would’ve never thought about that.”

Fatin chuckles, swipes a stray lock of hair out of her eyes. “You look like a bigger lesbian than anyone else here, and you would’ve never thought of that?”

“Oh, shut up,” Dot laughs. She shoves at Fatin’s arm as Fatin grins and shrugs.

“I call it like I see it,” Fatin says. “But I don’t know. Maybe this island is, like, infected with gay or something.”

“Or it’s just Toni and Shelby throwing off the balance,” Dot muses. Neither of them have actual proof that anything’s happening between Toni and Shelby, but Dot and Fatin have both accepted Fatin’s theory as the truth anyway. They have to gossip about _something_ , and Toni and Shelby’s sudden attitude change toward each other is ripe for speculation.

“Are you suggesting that their gay, like, rubbed off on me or something?” Fatin jokes.

“Maybe,” Dot laughs. “Wherever the idea came from – it was fucking brilliant.”

“Stop flattering me,” Fatin says, rolling her eyes. She can’t conceal a pleased smile, though. There’s probably no higher compliment than that from Dot.

“Please,” Dot snorts. “You and I both know you love flattery.”

Fatin can’t argue with that. “I’m just glad it actually worked,” Fatin admits. “I wasn’t sure – I thought maybe it’d fuck her up even worse, you know?”

“I guess we’ll find out when she wakes up,” Dot says, and that’s so not what Fatin wanted to hear, but Dot tells it like it is.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Fatin asks.

Dot’s smirk is a little evil. “What if she wakes up, like, all in love with you and shit?”

“Oh, please,” Fatin scoffs. She’d flip her hair over her shoulder if it wasn’t tied up into a messy bun. “That’d be nothing new. I know you’re all secretly in love with me as it is.”

They laugh so loud, it wakes Nora up.

*

Fatin wakes up with Dot’s arm around her waist, and she carefully lifts it and rolls away from Dot without disturbing her. She isn’t sure how that happened, but she makes a mental note to make fun of Dot later. While Fatin gets to work at brushing all the sand off herself, she does a quick check of their surroundings. Rachel and Leah are both still asleep in exactly the same positions that Fatin remembers from last night. Maybe that’s a little worrying, but Fatin can tell that they’re both still breathing, so she leaves them be. She makes another mental note to show Dot the proper way of determining if someone is dead or not, and it doesn’t include violent shaking or shining a flashlight in their face.

Nora is missing, but Fatin doesn’t see a reason to worry about her. She’s always wandering off, and she always comes back. She’s either off writing in her journal or shitting, probably. The most concerning thing, though, is the fact that Martha, Toni, and Shelby are all still MIA. The possibilities are endless. They could be lost. They could be dead, or at least unconscious. Or they split off to start their own settlement. That last one is probably the least likely, right alongside _they’re perfectly okay and they’ve found food to bring back_.

“You’re up early.”

Fatin nearly jumps out of her skin, and it’s a miracle that the undignified shriek she lets out doesn’t wake Rachel or Dot. “Jesus!” Fatin gasps, clutching at her chest. “Not cool, Leah.”

Leah cracks a weary smile while she props herself up on her elbows. “I’d apologize, but that was fucking funny,” Leah says. Fatin exhales and goes to sit beside Leah. Leah’s eyes track her the entire ten-step walk over, and Leah’s smile widens as Fatin plops down in the sand. “What’s wrong?” Leah asks, eyebrows tugging together. And it’s weird, how normal Leah seems just, what? Twelve-to-sixteenish hours after her meltdown? Here she is, worrying about Fatin, as if the whole ocean incident never happened.

“They aren’t back yet,” Fatin says. Her eyes flick toward the line of trees separating the beach from the wild. “I’m starting to think maybe they aren’t coming back.”

“No,” Leah says softly. “We’ll go looking for them if they aren’t back soon. We’ll find them, just like we found you.”

“We’re all considerably weaker now,” Fatin points out. She rubs at her temples with her fingertips. She isn’t sure if her killer headache is from the hunger or something else. She’s certainly not dehydrated. They’ve all been chugging water nonstop since it started to become clear that rescue wasn’t going to be immediate.

“Thank you,” Leah says.

“For?” Fatin prompts, letting her hands fall to the sand beside her.

“Yesterday.”

“What was yesterday?” Fatin asks. Her mouth is quicker than her brain. Fatin blames her lagging mind on the lack of food in her stomach.

“You know,” Leah says. “I kind of snapped.”

“No _kind of_ about it, girl,” Fatin says. She smiles at the same time that Leah grins and rolls her eyes. “That was a complete and total mental breakdown, and that’s saying something. I’m kind of impressed, actually.”

“Shut up,” Leah chuckles, shoving weakly at Fatin’s side. “Just – thanks for not force-feeding me drugs.”

“Oh, anytime, girl,” Fatin replies, waving her hand dismissively. “I’d feel like a rapey frat bro if I did that.”

“It would’ve been pretty justified, though,” Leah murmurs. “I really did fucking lose it, huh?”

Fatin presses her lips together instead of answering. “As long as you’re better now,” Fatin says.

“I’m too exhausted to feel anything else.”

“Hard same.”

They sit in a comfortable silence while Rachel and Dot continue sleeping. Fatin stares out at the ocean, at the waves that are a hundred times calmer than yesterday, and Leah stares at Fatin. Fatin is very aware of it, but she decides to give Leah a break and doesn’t call her on it.

“How’d you know it would work?” Leah asks. Her eyes are still locked on the side of Fatin’s face, but Fatin doesn’t look away from the ocean.

“Hmm? How’d I know what would work?” Fatin asks.

“You know, dumb isn’t a good look on you, Fatin.”

Now Fatin looks over at Leah. “I’m starving,” she says flatly. “Excuse me if my brain isn’t working at full capacity.”

Leah’s teeth sink into her lower lip, and Fatin raises an eyebrow at her, waiting. It took her a moment, but Fatin knows exactly what Leah’s referring to now. She just wants to hear Leah say it out loud, mostly because of how nervous Leah suddenly looks.

“Leah,” Fatin sighs, pressing her fingertips into Leah’s hip. “Just spit it out already.”

“How did you know that, like…kissing me would get me to stop spiraling?” Leah stutters.

“Honestly?” Fatin says. “I didn’t.”

“Then why did you do it?” Leah asks.

Fatin shrugs. “I had to do _something_.”

“Why not just slap me?”

“Slap you? And then shove a pill down your throat? That would really make me a rapey frat guy,” Fatin says, but the joke falls flat.

“I mean, you technically kissed me without permission, so…”

“Oh, so you’re gonna complain about that now?” Fatin laughs. Leah’s lips twitch into an almost-smile, but that damned troubled look is returning to her face. Fatin can tell just by looking Leah in the eye that she’s starting to get lost in her own mind again. “If you got to choose, would you rather have the slap instead?” Fatin asks, partially out of her own curiosity.

“Definitely not,” Leah answers immediately. “That probably would’ve given me the energy to get back to my feet and into the water.”

“You wouldn’t have made it five steps,” Fatin says. “I would’ve dragged your ass right back down.” Fatin’s joke falls flat for a second time, but even worse, that _look_ is still etched into Leah’s face. “Hey,” Fatin says sharply. “You good?”

“Just…thinking.”

“Well, knock it off,” Fatin says. “Thinking always gets your ass into trouble.”

Apparently, jokes are not going to work. Fatin sighs and lowers herself down next to Leah, propping herself onto her elbows the exact same way Leah is. Leah turns her head to look over at Fatin, and Fatin raises her eyebrows.

“Well? If you aren’t going to laugh at my jokes, at least say something,” Fatin tells her. “Otherwise I’m going to start to think that Dot was right –” Fatin cuts herself off quickly, forgetting Leah wasn’t conscious for that conversation, and Leah definitely notices.

“Right about what?”

“Forget it,” Fatin says. “Not important.”

“No, seriously. Just tell me.”

“It was just a stupid joke,” Fatin dismisses.

“So let me hear it.”

“You haven’t laughed at my last three jokes,” Fatin points out. “And you definitely won’t laugh at this one.”

“I want to know.”

Fatin heaves a sigh, knowing Leah’s not going to let it drop. And it was her own stupidity that got her in this position, so Fatin just blurts it out. “Dot just made some stupid crack about, like, what if you woke up in love with me or something, and I just said that it’d be nothing new since you’re all secretly in love with me anyway.”

Leah makes a sound that’s maybe almost half of a laugh, the corners of her mouth slowly curling upward. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you actually believed that,” Leah says, and Fatin laughs so hard that her arms give out and she lands on her back in the sand. And it’s totally worth getting covered in sand again, because Leah finally seems to pull away from the darkness as Fatin laughs until she can’t breathe.

“I think it’s important for me to point out,” Fatin says when she’s able to form words again, “that that one kiss in _no way_ represents what I am capable of doing, okay?”

“What?” Leah laughs. “What does that even mean?”

“It _means_ , I can do so much better, okay? You don’t get to judge me based on just that one kiss.”

Leah rolls her eyes. “I’m not judging you.”

“I mean, if I could, like, change the angle we were at, and if you weren’t covered in sand and saltwater, we might’ve had something –”

“You’re not even funny,” Leah cuts in, and she’s grinning widely down at Fatin.

“I’m definitely not being funny,” Fatin replies. “This is me being, like, dead serious.”

“I was flipping out, Fatin,” Leah reminds her. “I wasn’t exactly worrying about how good or bad that kiss was.”

“But was it bad?” Fatin questions. “Just be honest.”

“That’s what you’re concerned about?” Leah laughs. “Whether you managed to be a good kisser while I was literally losing my mind.”

Fatin pauses. “Well, now that you’re _not_ losing your mind at this exact second, yes. That is exactly what I’m concerned about.” A smirk spreads across Fatin’s face, and she jabs Leah in the stomach with her index finger. “I feel like if anyone here deserves the full Fatin Jadmani Experience, it’s you.”

“Oh my _God_ , you don’t quit, do you?” Leah laughs.

“I mean, I got you to smile _and_ laugh, so,” Fatin says. She pushes herself up so she’s sitting again and starts brushing sand off herself. Leah’s suspiciously quiet, and Fatin catches the way Leah averts her gaze when Fatin glances over at her. “Hey,” Fatin says, drawing Leah’s eyes back to her face. “Start brushing the sand off my back, will you?” When Leah doesn’t move, Fatin adds, “I think it’s the least you could do for me. You know, since I singlehandedly saved you from being drugged all day with my quick thinking and magic lips – hey!”

Leah snorts and continues to roughly smack the sand off of the back of Fatin’s shirt.

“Rude,” Fatin says. “Forget it. I’ll just –” Fatin yanks her shirt over her head and shakes it out in Leah’s direction. Leah yelps and swats the shirt away, and they’re both giggling when Dot finally lifts her head and glares at them.

“Hey, some of us are still trying to sleep over here!” Dot calls. She grunts and sits up, squinting over at Fatin and Leah. “What’re you two doing?”

“Nothing,” Fatin and Leah say in unison, and when Dot’s not looking, Fatin sends Leah a wink that makes Leah’s sunburnt face even redder.

“I feel like maybe you should keep your clothes on,” Dot says as she works on getting the fire going.

“I feel like maybe you’re just trying to cramp my style, Dorothy,” Fatin retorts, and she responds to Dot’s sneer by blowing her a kiss. “Come on. We both know you want some of this,” Fatin says, waving her hand in front of her bared skin.

“Oh, yeah, absolutely,” Dot says, going heavy on the sarcasm. “How am I even containing myself? I should’ve already jumped you by now.”

They snicker together, and Leah has taken a sudden interest in drawing patterns in the sand. Fatin finally pulls her shirt back over her head then takes the time to tuck it into her pants. “Is Rachel still alive?” Fatin asks.

“Rachel!” Dot shouts, and Rachel jolts awake, eyes wide. “Yeah, she’s alive,” Dot says.

“You and I need to have a chat about how you wake people up,” Fatin says. Dot shrugs then drops down to the sand now that the fire’s going. The group’s mood sours quickly, especially with Nora off somewhere and three of their members still trekking through the woods. And the lack of food never helps.

“I’m going to wash some of this fucking sand off,” Rachel announces. Her eyes narrow as they land on Leah. “Don’t follow me.”

“Here,” Dot says, setting a bottle filled with water between Leah and Fatin. “We need to stay hydrated.”

“I never thought I’d say this on a deserted island, but I am _tired_ of drinking water,” Fatin complains. She takes a swig anyway then holds the bottle out to Leah. “I want some real fucking food.”

“You’re telling me,” Leah mutters. She misestimates how much water is in the bottle and splashes some down her chin, onto her chest, soaking into her shirt. “Goddamn it. Don’t even say anything sexual,” Leah warns, pointing a finger at Fatin.

Fatin just laughs. “How’d you know?”

“I could sense it.”

“God, you two,” Dot complains. “Get a fucking room.”

Fatin takes one of the hair ties from her wrist and shoots it at Dot, but Dot very easily dodges it and scoops it out of the sand. She sends it flying right back, and it bounces off of Fatin’s chest, falls into her shirt.

“Yeah! I’m never going to make a shot like that again,” Dot celebrates, pumping her fist.

Fatin pushes her chest out. “Come get it for me,” she teases.

“How can I resist?” Dot replies, but she doesn’t actually move from her spot.

Leah groans. “Now who needs to get a room?” she mutters. Fatin smirks and digs the hair tie out of her shirt herself. As Fatin’s stomach growls loudly, the light, joking mood shifts into something more serious.

“I think,” Dot says slowly, “we need to start considering finding food ourselves.”

“We can’t just leave Martha, Toni, and Shelby out there,” Leah says. “They could be lost –”

“We can’t hunt them down,” Dot sighs. “We have next to no energy ourselves, and we used a good amount yesterday when – I mean, you know.”

Leah winces. “Then what are we going to do?”

A seagull lands not too far from camp, and all their eyes land on it. “Worth a shot?” Dot says.

*

“Is anyone concerned about Nora?” Leah asks after Dot’s fiftieth or one-hundredth failed attempt to kill a seagull with a rock. “Like, where did she go?”

“She’s always wandering off,” Fatin dismisses. She glances over at Leah to her left, sprawled out on her back. “And Rachel doesn’t seem worried, so I’m not worried.”

Leah’s eyes flick over to the ocean. “Rachel hasn’t left the water in over an hour,” she says.

“Yeah, well, who are we to judge?” Fatin says. “But you’re not allowed in the water again. Sorry not sorry.”

Leah grunts. “Drowning doesn’t seem like a pleasant way to go.”

“Neither does having your head bashed in with a rock,” Fatin replies. She watches Dot miss the seagull yet again. “When are you gonna give it up?” Fatin calls.

“When I’m dead,” Dot retorts. “Which probably won’t be very long from now.”

Leah groans, presses the heels of her hands against her eyes. “How many of those pills do we have?” Leah asks.

“I don’t know. Enough. Why?” Fatin questions.

“How many do you think you need to OD?”

“No,” Fatin says sharply. She pulls Leah’s hands away from her eyes, holds onto her wrists. “We aren’t going to think like that.”

“I’d rather go out like that than sit here and slowly starve.”

Fatin hesitates. Frankly, she has a point. “There’s still a chance that Shoni and Martha –”

“Shoni?” Leah says.

Fatin totally did _not_ just slip the couple name that she and Dot came up with a few nights ago when Fatin first pitched her theory. Fatin laughs, and it sounds fake to her own ears, but she just says, “Oops, I meant _Toni_ and Shelby. Got their names mixed up or whatever. Anyway, there’s still a chance that they’ll make it back with food.”

“Shoni,” Leah snorts. “Where the fuck did that even come from?”

Fatin fights a smile. “I don’t know. My tongue just slipped,” Fatin says. Leah smirks, and Fatin’s lips part as they stare at each other. “What?” Fatin questions. “Why are you staring at me like that?”

“Your tongue just slipped, huh?”

“Oh, shut the fuck up. Who’s trying to make things sexual now?”

Leah giggles. “Maybe you should’ve drugged me. I think I’m getting a little delirious.”

“You _think_? I think we’re way past delirious, Rilke.”

Leah’s smile slides. “Yeah. We’re actually fucking dying.”

“Fuck! I almost fucking had it,” Dot seethes. She throws Martha’s cupcake bra to the sand and storms off to join Rachel in the water.

“Yeah,” Fatin says quietly. “I guess we are.”

*

Martha saves all their fucking asses, and by the time they haul the goat back to camp, Nora has returned from wherever. Either she took the longest shit of her life or she was off doodling in her journal. Fatin doesn’t give it much thought. Not when she’s staring at the most beautiful dead goat she’s ever seen. And then fucking _Shoni_ return with lychees, and they have a real fucking feast ahead of them.

And that excuse Toni feeds them about what took her and Shelby so long? Yeah, Fatin knows she’s correct about something going on between those two. She locks eyes with Dot when Toni finishes speaking and sends Dot a knowing smirk, but Fatin’s not a big enough dick to harass them, especially not when it’s partially thanks to Toni and Shelby that they finally have food again. But then Leah gets up to “use the bathroom” and Fatin’s heart sinks. She knows that look on Leah’s face, even if it slips the notice of the others.

“I’ll come with,” Fatin declares.

“What – that’s –”

“Too bad,” Fatin interrupts. “I have to pee, too. And remember? Buddy system.”

“And you _did_ fucking snap yesterday,” Rachel pipes up. “You really should have a chaperone at all times.”

Leah glares at Rachel, but it gets her to stop arguing about Fatin accompanying her. They head into the woods, but they stick to spots where they can still see the beach.

“I don’t actually have to pee,” Leah confesses.

“Well, I do,” Fatin says. “So turn around.”

Leah rolls her eyes but does as she’s asked. Leah hooks her thumbs into the back pockets of her jeans, staring out at the beach while Fatin takes care of business.

“Don’t you think it’s weird,” Leah starts, and Fatin already knows that some kind of conspiracy shit is going to follow, and she’s not even done peeing yet.

“I don’t really want to talk while I’m taking a piss, Leah,” Fatin interjects.

“Nora was gone for a really long time,” Leah blurts.

Fatin sighs, and she’s still pulling up her pants when Leah spins around. “Hey! I didn’t say I was done.”

“You’re done,” Leah says flatly. “And Nora – what was she doing all morning?”

Fatin shrugs. “Probably sitting up on the cliff writing in her journal like always? Come on.” Fatin grabs Leah by the shoulders and ignores the look Leah sends her. Maybe it’d be polite to rinse her hands off before touching Leah, but Fatin thinks they’re way past that. “We were doing so good today,” Fatin says. “Let’s keep it up, okay?”

Fatin drops her hands, but Leah grabs her by the bicep, stops her from walking away. “Fatin, I’m serious,” Leah whispers. “Something is going on.”

Fatin hesitates, because this is exactly the type of shit she let slide yesterday, and then Leah launched herself into the ocean and nearly drowned. Fatin pries Leah’s hand off her arm then takes Leah’s hand in both of her own, pulling her a little deeper into the woods.

“Okay,” Fatin says. “Let’s sit and, um, talk about it?”

Fatin has no idea what to say. She hasn’t noticed anything particularly weird about Nora – well, nothing that falls outside of Nora’s usual brand of weird. And if Nora needs a few hours to herself, who is Fatin to judge? Fatin and Leah sit cross-legged in the dirt, facing each other, and Fatin leans her shoulder against the trunk of the tree to her right, waiting for Leah to begin talking.

“Leah, what’s going on?” Fatin sighs. “And do _not_ start with the _this island is giving me weird vibes_ thing again. The island gives us all weird vibes, okay? That’s just part of being stranded –”

“Something is happening!” Leah blurts. “Please. You have to believe me.”

Fatin purses her lips. She leans forward, lays her palm on Leah’s knee. “I do,” she assures Leah. “I just – Leah, you have no proof that anything is actually going on.”

“Too many weird things are happening,” Leah says. “They’re just – they’re scattered details, all over, but when you add them all together…it points to something not being right about this place.”

Fatin nods. “No, you’re right,” she says. “Something is definitely not right.”

Leah’s eyebrows raise in surprise. “Wait – you believe me?”

“I just said I did.”

“Yeah, but I thought – I don’t know, I guess I thought you only said that to make me feel better.”

Fatin flinches. “I believe you to a certain extent,” Fatin revises. “I don’t know if you reasoning is always the most…logical. But something doesn’t add up.”

“Then why aren’t you more, I don’t know, fired up about it?”

“Everyone already thinks you’re crazy,” Fatin points out. “I don’t need them thinking I’m crazy, too. They’ll drug us both.” Leah cracks a smile, and Fatin takes a little pleasure in that. “And I can’t do anything about it,” Fatin adds. “Except try to keep myself and the rest of you assholes alive long enough to get out of here.”

“I just…I think someone here knows something,” Leah says quietly.

“I’m guessing you don’t think it’s me, since you’re telling me about it,” Fatin says. “And I think you ruled out Shelby –”

“Don’t remind me.”

“Right.” Fatin shoves herself to her feet, offers her hands to Leah. “And for what it’s worth, I’m almost positive it’s not Dorothy,” Fatin says. Leah takes Fatin’s hands, and Fatin hauls her up.

“Yeah, you two are always, like, glued to each other,” Leah mutters. She tries to pull her hands free, but Fatin tightens her grasp. Leah’s eyes lift to meet Fatin’s, and Fatin grins.

“Oh my God. You’re jealous,” Fatin teases.

“What? I am _not_.”

“You totally are,” Fatin laughs. Leah yanks her hands free, and Fatin follows Leah back in the direction of the beach. “It’s okay, though,” Fatin says. “If it makes you feel any better, you’re the only person here that I’ve kissed. So far.”

Leah stops walking abruptly, and Fatin walks right into her. Fatin braces herself to hit the ground on her ass, but Leah manages to grab two fistfuls of Fatin’s shirt, and –

And instead of just Fatin hitting the ground on her ass, Leah comes with her. Fatin’s ass hits the dirt first, followed by her head, which momentarily stuns her, while Leah manages to catch herself with her hands planted on each side of Fatin’s head, putting Leah’s face right above Fatin’s.

“Shit,” Leah breathes. “You okay?”

“Ouch.”

“Shit, what did you hurt?”

“Might’ve bruised my ass,” Fatin says. Her eyes lock with Leah’s, and Fatin gives her a little smirk. “Kinda hit my head. Might be concussed now, thanks to you.”

“Jesus, Fatin –”

“You gonna kiss it better for me?”

Leah’s eyes might roll all the way back into her skull. “Alright, so obviously you’re fine,” Leah says.

Leah starts to try to push herself up, but the rest of her body had inadvertently fallen right between Fatin’s legs, and Fatin has no trouble locking her legs around Leah’s waist, stopping her from moving. Leah’s eyes widen, and the expression on her face would be hilariously cute if it didn’t just occur to Fatin what she’s actually done. Fatin’s brain, which is definitely not concussed – she didn’t hit nearly hard enough for that – only now just catches on to how much of Leah’s body is pressed to Fatin’s, thanks to Fatin trapping Leah by closing her legs around Leah like a vice.

“You wanna talk about acting like a rapey frat bro, let’s start with this right here,” Leah says, and Fatin giggles in the most undignified way possible, but it’s worth it to see the borderline-shy smile it draws out of Leah. “Are you going to let me go?” Leah questions.

Fatin pouts. “Do I have to?” she jokes. Or at least, she says it like it’s a joke. Doesn’t want to freak Leah out too much.

“If you don’t want someone to come looking for us and find us like this…yes?”

“What fun is that? We should give them something to talk about.”

“They already talk about me for being crazy,” Leah mutters. “I don’t need them talking about me because they think we’re fucking, too.”

“You aren’t crazy.”

“You’re missing the point.” Leah pauses. “And, um, we’re still kind of –”

“Right,” Fatin says. Fatin lets her legs fall open so Leah can get to her feet. Leah holds both her hands out, and Fatin takes them, allows Leah to pull her up this time. “God,” Fatin groans. “I miss sex!”

“That – _that_ is the first thing you say after we were just – yeah, okay,” Leah says. “Thank you for that.”

Fatin grins. “I mean, I could’ve said it while we were still all up on each other. I think I spared you by waiting until we got up.”

“Good point.”

Fatin grabs Leah’s wrist, stops her from heading out onto the beach. “Can I tell you something, like, really embarrassing?” Fatin asks.

“Sure. I mean, I tell you all my crazy shit, so how embarrassing can it be?”

Fatin’s eyebrows quirk upward. “Pretty embarrassing, actually.” Leah looks amused for a half a second then just waits for Fatin to continue. “Okay, so anyway, I already said how that kiss was not by any means indicative of what I’m capable of doing –”

“Oh my God, this again?” Leah whines. “I’m never going to live it down, am I?”

“Hang on, I’m not finished.”

“I’m not sure I want to hear the rest.”

“Come on,” Fatin scoffs. “You can handle it.” Leah sends her a wary look but motions for her to go on. “Anyway, we’ve already discussed how the kiss wasn’t great, which was totally on me –”

“Jesus, Fatin, if you’re looking for me to say it was fine – I mean, I was caught off guard and sort of out of it, but it was…great?”

“That’s actually not what I was looking for,” Fatin chuckles. She pokes Leah in the stomach, grins when Leah swats her hand away. “And I would appreciate that more if you didn’t phrase it like a question.”

“Then what are you getting at?”

“It’s just been _so long_ since I’ve had any sort of real human contact –”

“It’s been three weeks,” Leah says. “You can’t go three weeks without sex?”

“Oh my _God_! Let me finish,” Fatin complains.

“Okay! Sorry.”

“I just think you should know…you’re pretty hot, Rilke.”

Fatin enjoys watching Leah splutter for a few moments before she manages to say, “No. Do not even go there.”

“Too late. I already have. And we need to get off this island soon, because if one sorta-not-great kiss is enough to get me all hot and bothered, we got a real problem –”

“If you do _not_ stop talking right now, I’m going to –”

“Do what?” Fatin cuts in. The smirk she flashes Leah is a challenge. It’s bait, and Fatin waits to see if Leah takes it. “Push me again?” Fatin taunts. She nudges Leah’s shoulder with her fist. “Just take the fucking compliment, will you?”

“Is that what that was? A compliment?”

Fatin shrugs. “It’s whatever you want it to be,” Fatin says, and then she winks, and then leads the way back to camp.

*

“So you’ve got, like, a whole rotation set up now, huh?” Leah questions. “You’re all going to take turns on the Leah Night Watch.”

“We’re just looking out for you,” Shelby assures her. “But yes, that’s pretty much what this is.”

“I’ll take first watch,” Fatin volunteers, and she sees the _oh God no, please, let it be anyone else_ look dance across Leah’s face before her expression shifts to something slightly more impassive.

“Great,” Dot says. “Wake me when you’re ready to sleep and I’ll take over. Goodnight.”

Leah’s been very obviously avoiding Fatin since their little chat in the woods. In fact, it’s been so obvious, more than one other person has asked Fatin what the hell happened. Of course Dot asks first, with her usual grace.

“So what happened out there?” Dot asks literally five minutes after they return and Leah takes up a spot away from everyone else. “Because it seems to me, based on the amount of time you were gone, you were doing one of the F-words.”

“F-words?” Fatin questions. She sips at her water, waiting for Dot to explain.

“Yeah. Fighting or fucking.” Fatin spits her water right back out, and Dot jumps back with a, “Dude, what the fuck?”

“Neither,” Fatin says. “We were doing neither of those things.”

“Then did you take a shit? For real, what took so long?”

“We just talked,” Fatin says defensively. “You know, we’re kind of, like, friends.”

Dot hums, eyeing Fatin suspiciously. “Yeah. Sure.”

And then twenty minutes later, Rachel asks Fatin if they were out there fighting, because Leah’s all sulky now, and Rachel doesn’t want to have to drag her ass out of the ocean again. Then Shelby asks Fatin if Leah’s okay, and Nora mutters something about how maybe Leah hasn’t totally stabilized since yesterday, and then Toni pitches the idea of actually keeping an eye on Leah at all times, and here they are, sitting around the fire after dark, deciding which order they’re going to babysit Leah in.

“You need to loosen up a bit, Leah,” Fatin advises. She sits next to Leah in the sand. “It was just –”

“Yeah, I don’t want to talk about it,” Leah says. “Actually, I’m pretty tired, so. I might sleep.”

Fatin watches Leah bundle up one of her jackets to use as a pillow then lie down on her back. She doesn’t close her eyes, just stares up at the stars sprinkled across the sky. Fatin exhales and lies down next to Leah, a respectable few feet away. Okay, so maybe it’s like only a foot away. But Leah doesn’t tell her to scoot the fuck over.

“Hey,” Rachel says suddenly. “Don’t you go falling asleep, Fatin.”

“I’m not,” Fatin assures her. “I’m just resting my body.”

“Yeah, well, keep your mind sharp,” Rachel replies.

“I’ve got it under control,” Fatin says.

“Do you?” Leah murmurs. She turns her head so she can look Fatin in the eye.

“What?”

“Do you have it under control?”

Fatin hesitates. “I just mean, like –”

“No, it’s cool. You’re the one person here who can, like, sort of tell when shit is bad for me before I completely flip out.”

“And it’s not bad right now.”

Leah hums. “No, it’s okay.”

“Okay, good,” Fatin says. “I totally knew that.”

Leah scoffs but doesn’t say anything. She rolls her head back so she’s staring up at the sky, and now Fatin’s just creepily staring at the side of Leah’s face.

“You know, if you stare at me all night, I won’t be able to sleep.”

“That’s the idea.”

Leah rolls onto her side facing Fatin, rests her head on her hands instead of the jacket. “If you have something to say, you should say it.”

Fatin falters. She wasn’t expecting Leah to be…so straightforward? Besides, she’s not even sure everyone else is asleep yet, and it’d be totally rude of them to eavesdrop on a private conversation, but life on the island can get so fucking _boring_ that Fatin knows, if they’re awake, they’re totally eavesdropping.

“You know, your eyes are, like, very –”

“I have heard every version of the end of that sentence,” Leah cuts in. A smile flickers on her face, and Fatin rolls her eyes.

“Blue,” Fatin finishes.

“Yes. They are. That’s not what you wanted to say.”

Fatin inhales sharply then gets to her feet. She holds her hands out, because pulling each other up seems to be their thing now. “Come on. Let’s take a walk,” Fatin offers.

“Won’t that get us in trouble?” Leah teases. She takes Fatin’s hands.

“Hmm,” Fatin muses. Everyone else must all be asleep, because no one’s throwing a fit over the idea of them taking a stroll along the beach. Fatin links her arm through Leah’s. “Not if you’re stuck with me, right? We won’t go too far.”

*

They walk along the edge of the water, close enough that the water rushes over their feet but far enough away that it doesn’t soak their pants any higher up than their ankles. They walk slowly, arm in arm, like they’re an old couple or something. And Leah spends a lot of time looking anywhere but at Fatin, mostly down at the water and sand, sometimes up at the moon and the stars, sometimes over at the woods.

“I feel like maybe I should apologize,” Fatin begins after nearly five minutes in relative silence. The sound of the ocean has been mostly peaceful – at least, it was until Leah showed how fucking dangerous it is out there. “I stepped over a line today –”

“No, I’m just being dumb,” Leah interrupts. “Can’t take a joke.”

Fatin swallows. “Right. But no. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have put you in that position –”

“I ran into the fucking ocean, Fatin,” Leah cuts in. “I almost drowned. And maybe I owe Rachel for my life, but I owe you for my sanity. Who knows what would’ve happened if you’d just drugged me and left me?”

“You really think I would’ve left you?” Fatin murmurs.

Leah’s eyes roll, and _God_ , they are really fucking blue. Fatin would think they’re blue like the ocean if that wasn’t super fucking cringey and cliché. But maybe if she said it, it’d get a laugh or at least an annoyed smile out of Leah.

“You couldn’t watch me every second of every day, Fatin.”

“It’s not like I have anything better to do,” Fatin replies. “Look around,” she says, waving her free arm out towards the water. “We are stuck. I’ve got nothing but time. Might as well spend it looking after someone I –”

Now Leah looks at Fatin, amusement shining in those _fucking_ blue eyes. “No, please, go ahead,” Leah says, cracking a smile. “Finish that sentence. I’d love to hear it.”

“Oh, fuck off,” Fatin laughs. She wriggles her arm free of Leah’s in order to playfully shove at her. Leah barely budges, grinning and laughing silently to herself.

“You gotta put a little more weight behind your shoves if you want them to be effective, Fatin.”

“Yeah, you would know.”

They both snicker, and some of the weight lifts off of Fatin’s shoulders. So maybe they’re good after all.

“So do you not want my apology then?” Fatin asks.

“No,” Leah says. “Not necessary. I should’ve just _taken the compliment_.” Leah grins. “Which compliment, though? The one where you called me hot or the one where you admitted one ten second kiss where I was, like, not completely grounded in reality was enough to get you going?”

“Fuck you,” Fatin laughs. Leah does that one sorta shy smile that almost makes her look innocent, even though Fatin knows for a fact that Leah is totally not innocent at all, then Leah bites her lip, and she’s staring at Fatin, and _God_ , Fatin really is losing it. Three weeks is way too long without a dick appointment, and now Fatin’s head is all fucked up.

“You know, it’s actually pretty cool how open you are about…” Leah trails off, waving her hand as if that explains it. “All that sex shit or whatever.”

Fatin grins, shaking her head. “Aren’t you, like, a serious intellectual, Leah? And you used the phrase _sex shit or whatever_.”

“Shut up.”

“I just don’t care,” Fatin dismisses. “People are going to think what they want to think anyway. I might as well have some fun.”

Leah hesitates. “Have you seriously not gotten off since we got here?”

Fatin crosses her heart. “I have not. I swear on my life.”

“That’s very impressive, actually.”

“No, it’s very _sad_ ,” Fatin corrects. She holds her hands out in front of her, palms down, frowning at her nails. “Stupid fucking cello. It’s screwing me and it’s not even here.”

“Except…you aren’t literally being screwed. Not even by yourself.”

Fatin gasps. “Leah Rilke, was that a _sex joke_?”

Leah chuckles. “Maybe?”

“I knew you were a bad bitch since day one.”

And now it’s, like, day fucking twenty four or something. Almost day twenty four. Leah smiles at Fatin’s comment, though, but it starts to slide, replaced with that far away kind of look she gets when she starts thinking too hard.

“Is that why you wanted to take a walk?” Leah asks. “Just to apologize for earlier?”

“Sort of? Plus now that I’m full of goat, I’ve kind of got some energy again. And don’t even act like you were going to actually sleep. You’re always the last one up.”

“You noticed?”

“How could I not?” Fatin scoffs. “You’ve witnessed every restless night I’ve had, and I’ve had at least, like, ten.”

“I had a hard time falling asleep in my own bed,” Leah admits. “And sleeping in damp sand isn’t exactly an upgrade.”

Fatin thinks long and hard about the question she wants to ask, because it’ll be hard to explain the logical leap she made to get to it. But once Leah mentioned her bed – well, Fatin figures it’s better to preface her actual question with, “Hey, so can I, like, pry into your personal life for a minute?”

Leah jams her hands into her pockets, shrugs. “Why not? I mean, you kissed me, so I guess we count as real friends now, right?”

Fatin rolls her eyes. “We were friends before I kissed you, dipshit. Besides, I was doing you a favor.”

Leah hums, maybe in agreement. “So what’s your question?”

“Did anyone know?” Fatin blurts. “You know, about your whole Jeff sitch. Did anyone else know about it? Like while it was happening.”

It’s a risky move, bringing up that fucking pedo Galanis. But _seriously_ , how didn’t anyone notice what the fuck was up? How didn’t anyone connect the dots? And maybe all of Leah’s issues on the island don’t stem from that fucker, but Fatin’s willing to bet at least some of them do.

“I mean, like, Ian did,” Leah admits. “Someone sent Jeff my birth certificate and Ian claimed it wasn’t him, so…I don’t know. Maybe someone else knew, too. Why?”

“I don’t know. Just curious.”

“You don’t understand.”

“Well, I don’t know enough to understand,” Fatin says. “But that shit wasn’t right, Leah, and if someone knew about it and didn’t do anything...” Fatin sighs. “I don’t know either. Sorry for asking.”

“It’s just…hard.”

“What is?”

“All of it.”

“All of _what_?” Fatin presses. “Are you making a general statement about life or just that asshole or the island?”

Leah’s eyes roll. “Does it matter?”

“Kind of. Because if you’re going to take another trip into the ocean –”

“No, I’m not – that was so stupid.”

Fatin nods. “Okay, good, because I do _not_ want to have to, like, kiss the life back into you again or whatever.”

Leah, to Fatin’s surprise, grins widely. “You’re really never gonna let it go. I’m gonna hear about it until I die, whether that’s in a week from now or sixty years from now, huh?”

Fatin winks. “You know I’d do anything to help a friend.”

“And now you’re steering the conversation back into a sex thing, aren’t you?”

Fatin holds up her hand and wiggles her fingers. “Just because I can’t self-induce doesn’t mean I can’t –”

“Seriously, do _not_ finish that sentence,” Leah laughs. She grabs Fatin’s hand to stop her, and Fatin joins in on the laughter.

“Treat a lady right,” Fatin says anyway, and Leah falls into her from laughing so hard. Fatin keeps them both upright, and Fatin grins like an idiot. Her eyes lift up to the sky and she thinks _what in the fuck am I doing?_

“You know,” Leah says when she pulls it together and can stand upright on her own again – much to Fatin’s dismay, actually. And Fatin just for the first time is consciously aware of the fact that Leah’s got, like, at least an inch on her. “Since you had the balls to be upfront with me –”

“About everything?”

“About that kiss really doing it for you,” Leah teases, pressing one hand against Fatin’s arm, one against her stomach until Fatin knocks her arms away and assumes a pretend defensive posture.

“You wanna talk about never living it down?” Fatin jokes. “That. I will never live _that_ down –”

“I mean, it was a pretty fucking good kiss,” Leah says, and Fatin falls silent.

Fatin’s eyebrows raise. “Oh really?” she says, smirking suggestively. “I had no idea.”

Leah snorts. “No, you were just a little too polite to blame its bad qualities on me, since I was going fucking insane.”

“Maybe,” Fatin concedes. “The angle was pretty weird, though. Like, I could totally do better under more normal conditions.”

“Right. I’m sure you could.”

“Hmm. I guess you’ll never know,” Fatin says. They’ve walked pretty far from camp, inadvertently, but Fatin grabs Leah by the shoulders and turns her around, and they start heading back.

“Unless I lose my shit again, huh?” Leah jokes.

“Better hope I’m around then.”

Leah’s teeth sink into her lower lip. “I mean, where are you gonna go? We’re trapped here.”

“True story.” Fatin inhales deeply, rubs at her neck. “Maybe we should walk back,” she says.

“We are walking back.”

“Faster?”

“Got somewhere to be?” Leah questions.

Yeah, anywhere but in this conversation, but Fatin won’t say that. She just shrugs. “Getting kind of tired.”

“Right.” Leah pauses. “What if I threaten to run into the water?” Leah asks. Fatin immediately grasps the nearest fistful of Leah’s shirt, and Leah raises her eyebrows, looking down. “I didn’t even move,” Leah points out.

“Don’t scare me like that,” Fatin exhales. She releases her hold on Leah’s shirt, watches as Leah smooths it out. “If you don’t want me to leave, you can just say so.”

“Okay. Don’t leave.”

“I knew it. You love having me around.”

“Oh, God.”

“I can see it in your unfairly gorgeous blue eyes,” Fatin says, smiling as Leah dissolves into a giggling fit. “You want to spend all night with me.” Fatin pauses. “That came out maybe a little wrong? Normally when I spend the night with someone –”

“You don’t quit,” Leah says, shaking her head. She’s grinning, though, and her face is maybe a little flushed from all the laughter. “You really don’t. Is this what I have to look forward to until we’re rescued? You just, like, subtly – or in some cases, not-so-subtly – hitting on me constantly until you find the nearest, biggest dick to fuck?”

Fatin’s lips part, but she doesn’t quite have an answer ready yet. “I mean,” Fatin says, and her eyes flicker back toward their camp. Everyone’s presumably asleep still. “Do you want me to constantly hit on you? Because it’s no problem. I can totally do it.”

“I think you need to get laid, Fatin.”

“Is that an offer?” Fatin jokes. But then she drops the joking demeanor. “Because I was dead serious, I cannot get myself off with my hands, so if you’re making an actual offer, you should let me know.”

Leah, this time, does not laugh, and there is a fair amount of uncertainty flickering in her eyes – on her entire face, really.

“Isn’t this probably the grossest place to have sex ever?” Leah questions. “All the fucking sand, and none of us have properly bathed in weeks –”

“I mean, our ancestors didn’t have soap and they did just fine.”

“Let’s not dive too far into that comment right now,” Leah says. “Because I think I might actually be considering…the offer I guess I might have made to you? Or did you make an offer by asking me if I made one?”

“Leah,” Fatin says, firmly grasping onto Leah’s shoulders. “Look at me. Look me right in the eye. Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

After a few moments, Leah manages to meet – and hold – Fatin’s gaze. “Maybe?”

“Nope. No _maybes_. Are you, Leah Rilke, offering to get me, Fatin Jadmani –?”

“Fatin, I know who we are.”

“Off,” Fatin finishes. “Are you offering to get me off?”

“Well, when you say it like that, it sounds kind of –”

“Leah.”

“Right. Um, I don’t know, how long do I have to think this through?”

Fatin drops her hands from Leah’s shoulders. “Take as long as you fucking want,” Fatin says. “I can wait. Shit, I’m more than happy to wait. Take your time. Really think it over. I’ll help you list out all the pros and cons if you want me to.”

Leah cracks a smile. “Is shit going to be weird if we –?”

“No. I _promise_ I will not make shit weird.”

“You know, for some reason, I don’t believe you.”

Fatin grins. “What fun is it if it’s not a little weird?”

And holy shit, Leah is actually considering this. Fatin should pinch herself; she almost doesn’t believe it.

“Okay,” Leah says. “I guess this is your chance at a redo on that kiss.”

Fatin’s jaw hangs open. “Was it the compliment about your eyes that put you over the edge or what?”

Leah laughs, shakes her head. “No, actually – it was mean of me to make fun of you for getting turned on by that kiss, because –”

“Oh my God, no way!” Fatin exclaims. She grabs onto Leah’s shirt at her waist, grinning, and tugs Leah closer. “You fucking asshole. You really let me believe it was just me.”

And just like that, Leah’s hands are on Fatin’s neck, fingers splaying out against the back of Fatin’s head, and Fatin’s hands release Leah’s shirt and press against her lower back instead. And shit, Fatin knew she was right. She could do so much better than that first desperate kiss of theirs.

Turns out, so can Leah.

*

“Oh my God, you have to be quiet,” Leah hisses.

“Do. Not. Stop,” Fatin says through her teeth.

“Well, I’m not gonna keep going if you’re going to wake the entire fucking camp! The trees do not muffle sounds, and everyone’s, like, less than a hundred feet away.”

“Stop reminding me and – _fuck_ , keep going.”

*

“Good morning,” Dot greets as Fatin walks over. Dot throws a lychee straight into Fatin’s stomach, and Fatin manages to catch it, letting out a small _oof_.

“Rude,” Fatin says. She drops down into the sand beside Dot and gets to eating while Dot’s eyes study her face. “Any reason you’re staring?” Fatin questions.

“You look…different,” Dot observes.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Fatin asks.

Dot’s eyes narrow. “Like, you look good, Fatin.”

Fatin scoffs. “I always look good, but thanks? What’s gotten into you? Has the island finally gotten to you, too? Oh my God, I knew it. Those cargo pants are way too –”

“No,” Dot interrupts. “You look like you had an orgasm. Or many orgasms.”

Fatin scoffs again and crams the lychee into her mouth, chewing pointedly. “You wouldn’t be able to figure that out just from looking at me. But fine, I’ll admit it. I finally went and self-induced, okay?”

“No. Don’t even lie. You totally can’t do that with your hands.”

“Well, I got desperate and I made it happen, okay? Lay off.”

Dot grins wickedly. “I would, if I didn’t happen to catch part of what was going on in the woods last night…”

Fatin’s eyes widen. “No.”

“Mm-hmm. Yep. Don’t worry, I didn’t listen once I figured out what the hell was going on. For a minute there, I was afraid some bad shit was happening. You’re just lucky I didn’t come looking first.”

“You know, Dorothy, you could’ve come join us if you were so interested.”

That sends Dot into hysterics. “You and I both know that would’ve freaked Leah out.”

Fatin glances over to where Leah’s sitting with everyone else, way out of earshot. Frankly, Leah’s in a much better mood today, laughing and joking with the others. And they’ve all noticed, of course, but no one except Dot has put the pieces together, and that’s only because Dot had the great fortune to overhear a _private moment_.

“Yeah,” Fatin agrees. “Most likely.”

“And I wouldn’t want to fuck up your chance at getting an orgasm in. It seems like you really needed that,” Dot adds.

“Trust me. I did.”

“Hmm. Yeah.” Dot pauses, tapping her chin. “So, what are the rest of us going to call you two?”

“What?” Fatin says flatly. “No. Don’t even start –”

“Latin? Oh, no, wait. I got it. _Leatin_.”

“This isn’t funny, Dorothy.”

“It’s only funny when we’re joking about Shoni, huh?” Dot questions, jabbing a finger in Toni and Shelby’s direction. “And we’re not even sure Shoni is real. Meanwhile, I have definitive proof that Leatin is happening, right here on this island.”

“That’s not – do not call us that. And Shoni is totally happening. Look at them.”

They turn their eyes back to the rest of the girls, to the way Toni and Shelby think they’re being inconspicuous about how close they suddenly sit next to each other, how they lean in and exchange whispered words when they think no one’s looking, how they smile at each other then quickly avert their eyes.

“But Shoni’s not stupid enough to fuck in the woods right by camp,” Dot points out, “and expect that no one will wake up and investigate.”

“Oh my God, what do I need to bribe you with?”

“Nothing. Just be a little more discreet next time. You and Leah were the only two missing from camp, so it wasn’t very hard for me to figure out. Guess you just got lucky it was me and not anyone else.”

“Yeah,” Fatin grumbles. “We just got _so_ lucky.”

Dot slaps the back of her hand against Fatin’s arm and says, “Hey, you know what? You were right. This island really is infected with gay.”

**Author's Note:**

> Just thought I'd point out that Leah doesn’t have super strong suspicions about Nora right away here because she wasn’t drugged and never caught Nora talking to the camera. 
> 
> I'm working on some other Leatin fics, but it might be a while before I post again. I really threw out three relatively lengthy fics very quickly, but between school, work, and life in general I'm probably going to slow down lol. In the meantime, you can find me at blinkaftermidnight on tumblr.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments, and I'll respond as quickly as possible!


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